Diary of Irvin Gunawan

2011-08-21T05:39:00.001-07:00

Da Kong

2008-12-13T06:53:00.001-08:00

Chilikong pics

Ive added plants features and jungle music since I took these photos, now the place feels like the indiana jones ride in universal studios

Irvin and out

this goes out to Ci Inge

2008-12-08T06:29:00.000-08:00

yeh... have not been in the mood to write things lately so ol' blog is collecting spider webs.

but anyway, felt guilty today for ignoring's ci Inge's request for so long lol sorry....

so these are the photos of the new baby.

day

night

busy-busy

specialty dish (home style tofu)

the other one... hmm coming up!

Irvin and out

I found a girlfriend

2008-11-10T00:07:00.000-08:00

me and my lovely godiva

But Im worried this relationship would only last 3 days........

rebutan pacar

Ira dan penampakan

sheep

2008-11-02T07:05:00.000-08:00

I post this game up cos I got a pretty fast time hehe,

see if you can beat it.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/science/humanbody/sleep/sheep/

my time, 0.161 sec.

need your advice thanks

2008-11-01T02:49:00.000-07:00

hey guys, need your advice on this one thanks.

this is one of those things that I go through a lot, its hard to find the silver lining...

1) my mom always says to me that God has a plan for me. So if I go and try something (say trying to buy a business), and along the way the buying process becomes difficult because so many things go wrong, this means that God has other plans for me and that business is not meant to be mine. In other words, if something great is meant for me, everything will go smoothly.

2) I've read many autobiographies of successful people, and it always tell a struggle, to want something so badly, to give your best shot and never give up. Even in the face of rejections, failures, they still keep going against everyone's advices, but that struggle would then bear fruits in the future. In other words, if something great is meant for me, tears and blood must be shed to obtain it.

no 1) is a doctrine of faith and patience while number 2) is a doctrine of resilience and selfish single-mindedness.

I have been through these cases many times, in which I wanted to get something so badly, yet I didnt end up getting it due to many hurdles.

In such cases, do you think I have to let it go and wait for something better,
or should I push a bit further?

bad week

2008-10-29T10:19:00.000-07:00

You know, I have faced so many rejections before, and the equal amount of descending 'you cannot do it' comments from doubters (including friends).

that is just part of the life of an enterpreneur. I have graciously accepted this.

but you know, all those discouraging comments made by friends and family about my business ideas that I have in the past (when I just started) - they really sucked you know... Doubt, is our biggest enemy, yet some people happily compounded them to me all the time bringing me the the pits of darkness, why cant they instead give a voice of support to carry me through the hard times?

To this day, I remember, honour, respect and truly deeply love my supporters. Back when I was nothing, they believed in me (Mama Liau, my mom, dad(half-half), Mr Tan, Pak Ben). Actually, I am still nothing now hehe (but the difference is that I could meet breadtalk's boss easily this time around if I wanted to).

so thats the reason why I promised myself I would not openly discourage my friends who wanted to started a business no matter how stupid I think his/her idea is.

except today, because I just had a very bad week, and I just have to throw this bad mood to someone.

so, to my naive friends out there who thinks being an enterpreneur is easy peasy.

I have to be brutally honest with you - you can try, but you will FAIL.

cos 9 out of 10 small businesses die in the first year of operation.
cos unlike working a job, intelligence or hard work will not breed automatic rewards
cos having lots of capital is not a prerequisite, nor it is of huge importance
cos nobody gonna tell you what the problem is (let alone the solution)
and most importantly,
cos for every you, there are ten competitors who cannot wait to grill you out of business (and ten others who cant wait to laugh at your incompetence on your bankruptcy)

The matter of fact is, you must be extremely lucky to be an enterpreneur.
ya, I said lucky, because the title 'enterpreneur' is not a choice, it is bestowed.

ups, depressed are you? =P
hehe, but im feeling better now

ok, back to encouraging mood:
'I know you can do it, go go go!'

Irvin and out.

open source

2008-10-26T05:43:00.000-07:00

Today walking through IKEA * gives me a little hint of what the future may look like in about 20 years time. The theme that dominates my mind is open-source productions of everything.

Open source means user generated – means the contents (when talking about the net), or the products are being produced by the customers themselves (in such a way that customers act as the producer concurrently). As we allow our end consumers the freedom to customize this method of production allows individualistic taste and creativity to confer over to the end product and the result is a huge variety of differentiated products by design, content or capabilities.

Examples of dot.com includes Wikipedia, Facebook.

The underlying principle behind how it is useful can be illustrated by a fishing company which is faced with a problem of catching as many and as varied number of fishes possible to sell to the market. It could increase its production of course by increasing its employee numbers from 20 to 100, but then when it starts to have to increase employee size from 500 to 700, it starts to observe that the increase in output becomes increasingly less marginal; hence less efficient over time.

The alternative way to do it of course is through open source application. This involves the fishing company to concentrate on producing more (and better) fishing rods. It then could engage volunteers (because there are many recreational fishers out there) or let other companies to do the fishing for them. By simply producing great fishing rods, they can pass the fishing problems to its customers. This will result in greater number and variety of fishes being caught over time compared to the first method. It is quite true what they say, its better to teach people how to fish than to give them fishes. Mark Zuckerberg will be the first to attest to this, his contribution to Facebook was for the platform only, the incredibly many cool tools in facebook can be attributed to its numerous volunteer workers around the world.
In a way, IKEA is like that. It provides building blocks for a home without telling you how to build it. Open source is applicable for every industry. A restaurant for example, like subway, allows you to custom-made your sandwiches (its not a full open source system though).

But what fascinates me today is the prospect of being able to produce Open Source Cars in the future (lets call this OSC for easy namesake). This means adding the capability of customizing art, engines, etc, at production level. When the customers want to buy a car from OSC, they will be able to not just choose its colour, but also every other parts of the vehicle (engine, wheel, art, seat skin, etc). Furthermore, every car ordered around the world would be stored in a database that could be accessed by new customers. That means it is possible for a buyer in China to follow a custom made model in Brazil.

Yes, made-to-order car factories are difficult technically and not so feasible economically today. But this seems to be the direction the future is heading towards. As the human race becomes more intelligent, they demand individualistic product and services – products and services that are custom made for you. If you ask me what is the big difference 50 years ago from now, I’d say its consumer choice. 50 years ago all cars are black, 50 years ago everyone wears blue jeans. Today the world is much colorful because there are simply more products to choose from. Whoever made that assumption that future is full of grey futuristic flying cars is dumb. It may look good on the big screen (i-robot, fifth element), but dumb nonetheless – the future is much more colorful than today (the everyone are wearing jeans will be passé, enter haute couture).

Open source technology is the gateway towards the future that is gearing for unlimited products choices. So make your company open source today.

the dark arts of.....

2008-10-21T08:54:00.000-07:00

Aahhh folks, just in case you might miss the many-many singapore zoo banner, let me remind you, Halloween is coming !

I love halloween. Its a day to celebrate the evil in all of us (yes baby doll, all of us means you too)

As the writer of this blog I get to observe you lot like my guenia pigs. So I like to experiment what gets people laughing by throwing different jokes, and you know what gets you lot high the most? its stories of my (and Anti's) sufferings!

everytime I write something about my miserable single life, I get a lot of comments. See, I proved you guys are evil too. You guys are not much different from me, I also get a lot of satisfaction from seeing people suffer (my favourite place is the library to see many stressful faces preparing for o-level).

ok, enough blaberring lets get to work!

(Ci Inge, if you are reading, please stop here hehe (congrats on another one btw!))

today I will share with you the dark arts of scaring the hell out of people (when I say people I mean girls).

You will get great satisfaction if you do these right, but remember one thing, the amount of satisfaction is directly related to amount of preparation you do, so plan well! its time consuming but dammit I promise you its worth every minute in the end.

ok the first one is simple.

If you happen to share a house with a girl, you can sabotage the place with ghost pictures.

personally, I like this one the best:

because the background is black, so it can be used in many places.

the best is probably to put the image underneath her bed if it is an open frame model. then late at night, call her and say 'i have been looking for a lost ring for days!, could you please check under your bed if its there please cos I was cleaning your bed yesterday' or something along that line. When she takes a peek under the bed... hmm haha you know whats next.

you can also stick it on the wall in the dark living room with just letting a bit of moonlight in so that the face is visible. The better version is (if you are the diligent kind like me), you can put up a rope catrol system around the living room so that the head appears to be flying towards her.

the exorcist has some scary shit too:

you can always go to yahoo and search exorcist images to pump your heart BPM by 20 or so, just dont do it late at night in an empty house like Im doing now because you wont be able to sleep afterwards.

ok, if you are the lazy kind and just want to do something simple, you can always send or show the girl the following youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkBTA28y-D4&feature=related

show better of course cos you can control the volume.

But yeah, the best is still the costumes. Go dress yourself as sadako and hide in the closet. Distract her with TV or radio that turns on and off by itself (controlled by a remote control in your hand of course). The thought of ghost should then enter her mind and that is when she is the most vulnerable... and of course the best time for you to rush out like a madman.

see this as a guide.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WIy7fBKclo

err... this is getting too long, but...

I will be open for consultation 24 hrs if you need help, anyway, as a sign of gratitude, please do a write up of your scareventure ideas by posting a comment on this blog. Lets help each other make this world a scarier place.

happy halloween.

Irvin and out

Im back!

2008-10-17T20:34:00.000-07:00

UOOGHH

because somebody said:

selamatkan blog ini !!!
yang menentang blog ini akan dihukum!
jangan tutup blog ini !!
Kami cinta blog ini !!!

so the greatest blog in the history of the internet is now back.

lol, jk, actually the previous post as Deny said, was made for sensation only.
boleh Den... BOLEH.

ok, be prepared for even raunchier posts, coming soon in the moni-ter near you.

Irvin and out

Goodbye

2008-10-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

This is it folks...

in light of tragic events occuring due to the release of MDCly news,

and several death threats made towards the editor by the celebrities,

we have decided to close our doors,

and kill this blog forever...

I want to thank our readers who have stayed with us through happy and sad times

I want to thank my mom, my dad and of course all the silly people out there who became my inspirations.

without further adue, I want to announce, this is....

~the end~

MDCly News

2008-10-10T20:20:00.000-07:00

welcome to the first edition of MDCly (Masa Depan Celebrity) news! the premiere Gossip news blog for the MDC church. We bring the raunchiest, hot current MDC gossips to your doorstep!

the Hottest news just recently in! from a close, credible source, ms Ayrin (above) has been taken! it seems that a few days back, Lukas a.k.a Mr Boy went down on his knees in front of a select group of friends during a dinner and proposed! Raunchy! The word is that Ayrin accepted, so now let us wish this new couple a happy future. We will look closely on the development of this news and report it to you in our next edition. (when approached by our reporter on how many children they are expecting to have, ms Ayrin declined to comment).

(Smokin' Hot) In the other news, an informer has told us that another couple is brewing in the background. They are Mr Edward and Ms Erlina, in an unprecendented coupling of two person from different departments- Ms Erlina belongs to the ushers while Mr Edward is the church comedian. The new couple expect to announce their relationship in the next few days. Remember! you read it first in MDCly news!

The man we are tracking currently is Anti (full name - Andre Tinggi). There seems to be numerous activities surrounding Anti in the past week. Anti is reported to have failed proposals with two girls. The first one was Tirza whom chose MDC's own mr nice guy Harry over Anti. Anti was reportedly furious about this debacle and an informer told us that Anti went to Harry's house with a baseball bat, but luckily, Harry was not home at that time. Anti was also reported to have broken down and cried in his house's toilet for 3 days straight after another humiliating rejection by a new girl named Suri. But yet again, Anti proved his status as MDC's premier playboy when he was caught with a Chinese girl named Passion on saturday at band practice! Saucy!

If you have any HOT news, let us know first! send it to HOTGOSSIP@MDCly.com. Let us know what you think of the compatibility between Mr Reginald and Ms Gracelicious! We will be back next month, see you!

In other news, Mr Irvin is still single and lonely. No surprises here.

bring me back the singlish church!

2008-09-22T01:41:00.000-07:00

aiyoh, you see I was talking-talking with my friend the other day,
I ask my gossip supplier 'who are the people that are dating in the church?'

so she goes through the list 'Hendra, Tirza, Iona, Anes, etc, etc' (a long one, but my point is made)

That night I couldnt sleep thinking about this... Firstly about the fact that my church now has so many couples inside it, many of them my close friends. I felt comfortable going to church before because it was the haven of miserable singles like myself, but somehow this aura has changed in the past couple of months. I guess, I feel bad seeing my friends dating because I enjoy seeing them live a miserable single life.

Much like looking at the mirror of course. Which points to my second thought that night - why am I still single? (special effect sound - eerie silence with soft wind blowing).

Well, some friends has pointed to the fact that I am insensitive to girls displaying their affections for me. This is to some extent true, but my meditation that night reveals two more things about me.

The first is that I have sizable ego that disallows me to convey my feelings to a girl I fancy because I see this as a weakness. No one will see me approach a girl especially in the first few meets. I will secretly hope she will approach me though. It is stupid, but I see the approach as an inferiority move. Am I self aware of what my peers might think of me? maybe, but as I said, it is a dumb preoccupation predominantly. I know man has to make the first move, but damn....

The second is that I get bored about something very easily. As I said to my friend, I adore babies, but if someone leave a cute baby with me to take care of, I'd carry and sing for her with a smile on my face for about 15 minutes before I get bored, put her down and do something else.
So I am afraid of something permanent which 'in a relationship' kind of means. My ideal world is where there is such a thing as 'in a relationship for 2 weeks', so I can go date a different girl every 2 weeks. And no, before you blast me, I am not a male chauvanist pig, and I dont see girls as a commodity. I see them as french fries. What I really need is a girlfriend with multiple personality disorder.

But I guess my singleness should be an attractive point to girls. Its already taken me more than 23 years to find a girlfriend, so I guess it would also take me 23 years to find a mistress. So I guess I am a safe bet if you are looking for someone to marry.

But you know what brought me finally to sleep?

It is the thought that whilst Anti, Deny and kumur is around, I could sleep well knowing that I wont be the last man single.

Irvin and Out

Hoober

2008-09-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

2 Comments - Show Original Post

Irvinhyg said...

Thats a really cool story!

September 15, 2008 2:13 PM

Irvinhyg said...

Abi's comment has been deleted by God of blog (haha)

September 15, 2008 10:16 PM

.....

2008-09-04T18:01:00.000-07:00

I WANT TO GET LAID down on a nice beach strip in Bahamas listening to the music of the waves.
I NEED A GOOD FUCK ing jug of coca cola zero to cool down this dry throat of mine
I AM GOING TO BE PART OF SOME SEX ism activist protest near city hall this evening
I WANT TO EAT SOME VIRGIN oiled caesar salad for breakfast tomorrow

this is why I hate myself.
I AM ONE BIG FUCK ing good-natured boy.
(my mama dont allow me to do these things)

irv IN AND OUT (gasp, gasp).

learn from others!

2008-09-03T07:17:00.000-07:00

Our friends are precious study materials. I have learnt a huge deal of things by observing, relating, and experiencing life with my friends, they are up there amongst the best teachers that I have and I want to thank you sincerely for those important lessons you have taught me whether conciously or not. As a token of gratitude, I have listed some of the contributions you have had in my life, I hope this will bring some warmth into your heart during these rainy days.

I learn what not to wear from Anti,

learnt that there exist a woman who is able to lift me up (she's called All fine)

Learnt about how not to shoot a girl from Coby

I learnt a lot from Regi, but I cannot mention them here because they are too kinky.

Learnt about courage and perseverence from kumur (how to avoid depression after being rejected? he showed me that you just have to do it a lot of times and you'll get used to it)

I learnt a lot about acting from Lily's dramatic bible reading @ church.

sorry the list cant be more exhaustive, because I'm saving them up for thanksgiving.

Thank you friends,
Irvin

Again

2008-09-01T10:20:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it, today I am sick again, fever =(

Finding happiness- Part 1- Find your heart

2008-08-30T04:27:00.000-07:00

Friends, know yourself more deeply and it will reveal to you what makes it happy. That’s the message I want to share today.

Your body consist of two parts.

First, the mind, which is infinitely borderless by nature. We all have wild imaginations, we all do.
And second, the heart, which is finite.

Our DNA is embossed in our heart. It dictates who you are, who you will become. The heart is fixed from our birth; it is unchangeable no matter how hard we try.

When we watch a movie, the heart will tell us whether we like the movie or not through our feelings. “Do you like the movie?” is a question commonly asked by people. We cannot quantify or write down exactly why we like a certain movie, but we just feel it, a little spark of joy perhaps?

Whereas our mind can be influenced by movie reviews or friends recommendation – we can go into the cinema very excited because of all the rave reviews it has gotten from friends, but when the movie does not click with your heart, you will not like it. That cannot be changed. I like zombie movies from heart, what is your cup of tea?

Similarly, there are professions, women, lifestyle that clicks with your heart. Again, all of these have been imprinted in your heart from day 1. Very common, when a person leads an unhappy life, it is normally because he is doing a certain profession that his mind considers good, but not his heart.

All I am saying is that there is no one way to happiness, no one profession that will make you happy, no one medicine for a disease. It all depends on how well you know your heart, because the key to your happiness is already written there.

So we have to learn how to use our heart to make those important decisions.

I have revealed my own heart when I write ‘the virtue of being poor’. My heart is not motivated by money. My happiness, and therefore the extent to which I perceive my success will not be determined by how much money I collected, so I have to find another way.

In contrast, I have seen how my brother likes money, which for him, is a status symbol. So I say to him, go on, make as much money as possible, that is your ticket for happiness.

How many times have we heard about people leading unfulfilled life because they are trapped in the wrong job? It can happen, because their decisions are made using their mind which has been influenced by the media, people’s perception and of course money. I have a friend who puts football above everything else, yet he is working as an accountant. Why can’t he choose to become a footballer instead? Yes, most probably he will lead a life of poverty, but at least he will be happy.

I have followed my heart in becoming a restauranteur, which I chose above other more prestigious and higher paying jobs my university degrees promises. I have never spent a day regretting that decision.

How to find your heart is a challenging task though.

Just like deciding which one taste better, chocolate or vanilla, your heart will tell you the answer, but importantly it must first try both chocolate and vanilla. Our heart is a multiple choice answering machine, it needs to be fed the choices. We need our mind to generate the choices for our heart, and the prologue on ‘start thinking’ should get you under way on this task.

All you had to do is let your mind wonder over many choices. When considering which job to choose, start going through ‘what if I am an interior designer,... what if I am a doctor..., etc’. You will go through several professions in your head that suddenly you feel some emotional joy over. That is your heart telling you that it likes that choice. Trust it.

Being a multiple choice answer generator, it will find the best truest answer when you give it more choices. So expand your mind horizon, read more books, watch more movies, do something you have not done before, try acting, learn singing, give money to the poor. Find your motivation, your passion.

and learn to trust your heart more.

When writing a comedy script, don’t write things that you think will make people laugh, instead, write a lot and keep those that make you go laughing inside.

I want to end this blog with a distraction, a small advice that will definitely make you happier. It’s simple, just read more books than you used to. Knowledge nurtures our mind to grow; it is a one of the universal key of happiness. Try it.

Irvin and out

fat and (still) sexy

2008-08-29T09:00:00.000-07:00

I’ve decided, I’m going fat.

I want people to like me for who I really am, you know, the small Irvin inside? I want to be appreciated for my beautiful personality. I’ve had enough of people getting close to me because I’m sexy.

So I will go on a binge eating spree this next few weeks to pump me up to 100 kg. I just want to let my friends to know in advance that this is a pre-meditated decision and I want you to know why I am doing it.

You see, I like fat people.

Thin people are thin because they are motivated by peer pressure (the media perception of thin being beautiful). I mean, other things being equal, we all should be fat because eating is enjoyable, right? Therefore, one can assume that thin people are easily influenced, judgemental and are highly envious beings.

I like fat people because they do not have all these evil motivations. You know..., they are just happy and fat.

Anyway, for me, I’ve tried all methods of dieting before, and I always get sick after losing 2 kgs. You know how the body has a mind of its own and it communicates with you through your health, I think it makes itself sick in order to tell me that it was unhappy. Besides, I always thought that I would look really cool with that fat bossy look, you know, like my father. So who wants to join me?

Irvin and out

Finding Happiness – prologue (Start THINKING!)

2008-08-20T01:43:00.000-07:00

It’s time to get serious.

Welcome to the first of the ‘Irvin will talk about how to find happiness, you just sit down and shut up’ lecture series.

Ok, It’s time to get serious.

Hopefully what I have to write in the next few days can inspire you and bring you into a higher level of enlightenment. I will impart to you a wisdom that I have learnt through hard-earned experience. Its about finding that elusive thing called happiness.

I have always equates success to happiness, as such, this writing is pretty much a guide to being a successful person as it is about how to lead a happy life. It is the same.

I believed to achieve true happiness there are three phases you must complete – Intra success (happiness through self), Inter success (Happiness through others) and spiritual success (Happiness through HIM). However, I’m not going to talk about these phases today, simply because you are not ready. You need a tool that will guide you through the rest of your journey.
That tool is called self awareness, and its all about your ability of thinking.

Follow me – from this day onwards, I am going to start thinking.

Open up your mind. some of us has not been thinking. I too have only started thinking last year. And don’t be happy for your condition now, believe me, there are things that you should have done that can bring your happiness to another level, yet you never did.

We are not natural critical thinkers because we are not brought up to become one. How many times in the past have you read a few pages of a book and suddenly, snap! You realize that you cannot recount anything of that few pages. How many times have you heard your teacher at school speak and later in the evening realized that you only remembered 10% of what he said?
The problem is that we are taught to agree with everything that we read or listen. It’s all input, and there is where the concentration fades. We are simply not thinking when we read or listen.

We never argue with the teacher’s teachings and that hampers our ability to learn. I believe that 80% of the information from people’s mouth and books are garbage, well, at least I believe 80% of what I say is garbage; therefore we must be actively thinking in order to filter them out, leaving only the gem for our memory to store.

To illustrate, remember how our Sunday school teacher taught us about the wonderful story about Noah and the arc, and how kind was god to ask Noah to make the huge boat to carry the animals? Remember how the story used to melt our hearts?

Well, they never mentioned about how monster-like God was, because that was basically the biggest massacre in the history of mankind where families are slaughtered by the floods. Can you imagine the innocent children gasping for air, and their parents helpless to save them? Its R21 material to be honest...

I’m sure my fellow MDC people remembered the deeply touching story told by a visiting Pastor recently about integrity.

He was asking permissions to open a new church in his hometown and had to get a number of approvals from the local, district governors, up to the ministers. Long story short, he gained approvals from about 7 or eight lower level governors and the way he gained those approvals was nothing short of miraculous, that God has been with him all the way because to get approval for building a church in Indonesia is normally extremely difficult.

But at the final stage, when just one more approval was needed from the city governor, he screwed up big time. He made the fatal mistake of dropping his integrity and bribed the governor with money because he heard it was the common practice and a necessity to gain approval. He was rejected.

His hopes were doomed because of one simple mistake, and from that day onwards he promised never ever to bribe again. The moral of the story he concluded: never to accept bribes and never to bribe, keep your integrity.

Touching.

But I hope I am not the only one in the room that thought that the reason he was rejected was that the bribe money was too small. My moral of the story: as the Indonesian say, if you want to bribe, don’t bribe half half (translate yourself).

Ok, my conclusion is probably wrong, most probably, probably. But it does not eliminate the fact that it is plausible, that it can present a challenge to the agreed idea.

So I challenge you not to easily agree. Consider your point of view as well. As you go through this journey of finding happiness, questions must be asked, tons and tons of questions in order to get a handful of answers. You must equip yourself with the ability to critically think all the time. Look at what I am writing at the moment, decide what is garbage, and what ideas can help you grow, don’t stop thinking.

By practicing thinking, you will slowly get to the stage of self awareness. This is an important step. I mean, when it is included in Stephen Covey’s ‘7 habits of highly effective people’ as the first habit, then you know it is important.

Self awareness is the ability to look at yourself at a third person view. You are probably sitting in front of your computer right now. Now imagine in your head, instead of the camera lens located in your eyes, move it back 3 meters and imagine looking at yourself playing the computer from that camera angle. That is self awareness, thinking in the third person view.

A self aware people think in what I call second derivative thinking.

Using a sad person as illustration, first derivative thinking would be ‘I am sad because my girlfriend just dumped me, i think I’ll go grab a hamburger to wash my sadness away’.

But a second derivative thinker would think something like ‘I am sad, my girl dumped me... but why am I sad anyway? My muscles are working fine and I got no flu. Yeah, she dumped me but if I get her a bouquet of really nice rose and a nice box of godiva, suprise her with a visit at midnight sharp, apologize with a guitar in my hand and the most sincere handwritten apology, i am sure she’ll be mine again, and if she cannot forgive, then she is a bitch and does not deserve me anyway, but if she does forgive me I’ll then pretend to be a jerk and dump her to get even, that would be funny, but later on we would make up. But really, that seems to be a lot of hard work, forget it, there are tons of other girls I can try my luck on’. And there goes the sadness without a bite of hamburger.

Positive thinkers are always thinking in second derivatives – and you know how happy positive thinkers are.

I'll tell you my secret to dealing with problems. I tell myself 'Irvin, if the problem does not cause you to be dead, then it is a small problem. Actually, it is not a problem at all'. Problems - it's all in your head you know.

There is another lesson that I learnt from experience and is very important.

Only things that you can imagine in your mind that can happen. Whoa, stolen from ‘the secret’ did you say? Its the same principle, and I thoroughly concur with this idea.

If you have never imagined yourself on stage as a rock star, you will never be a rock star. Things happening in this world are never a result of God’s lucky draw. But, Imagine, and it will materialize.

Daydreaming and imagination are wonderful tools that we lost as we age. You wonder why children are happier than us do you?

I guess that is pretty much what I want to pass on about thinking. I think a lot, and I think about thinking a lot (second derivative here), and I think about pushing myself to think more too. I invite you to do the same. Buddhist call this meditation to reach enlightenment, I just call it thinking.

God is fair, he made us a balanced equation. They make extroverts easily loved by other people because he/she is able to speak her mind well. But yet because they are talking all the time, they don’t spend as much time to think as much as introverts do, which is why introverts has greater mind power. That is why when Syerin speaks, you shut up. But do not fear, extroverts out there, this particular point of mine is not proven because I have seen an extrovert with a most extraordinary mind, her name is Suzanne Liau, damn she is good, I am so jealous.

Ok, prologue done, three more to go.

Damn this is long.

Irvin and Out.

Hospital Day

2008-08-19T03:32:00.000-07:00

After a lengthy spell of successful escapades and close calls, finally the mob (mr/mrs Gunawan) got me to go to the hospital again.

Darn yesterday.

Despite holding my breaths and making convincing lies, my throat tickles and I coughed up big time in front of mob boss during dinner time. The appointment was made in the morning and there was no escape this time.

So I visited the hospital today. Verdict – It was amazing.

I never knew that Mt E is a haven of pretty Indonesian girls. Despite what Regi might say to convince you that I have a perversion towards aunties, I am not into sick people, this time I am talking about their daughters. I fell in love with so many the second I step into the hospital’s lobby. They are pretty (check), rich (check – poor people cannot climb Mt E), and they care about their sick parents (I managed to convince myself that they are there to help their parents and not for post-hospital LV bags). What else can you ask from a girl?

Not to mention the girls in tight white uniform. I even fell in love with the doctor’s receptionist.

I found myself coughing numerous times in the hospital, although half of it were to get the girls attention so I can get the chance to give a small wink. But nonetheless, my sickness was real and quite serious as it has survived nine wonderful days inside me. The doctor confirmed this with a prescription of six different medicines. Before I went out he handed me a list of things to avoid during my sick days.

I circled the advice that I have failed to follow in the past week. Lol, no wonder I’m still sick.
Thanks doc for the list, you have just given me the tricks to make sure I can come back to Mt E next week. I could really make this a regular trip.

Irvin and out.

screndiously dupermasively gboomtastic

2008-08-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

or in other words, inspired.

oh my my,
its been a while,

a good dose of thanks for my supermassively inconsiderate busy life at the moment.
there was no room for me. let alone you.

I dont know what to write really. in graciousness conceding the mind is preplexed at consolidating these multinformation, i dont know which to share either because there is too much exciting thing going on. I am happy at the moment, very selfish, but very happy.

you folks will seek as you age, and some will find. As I do. a humble haven. a secret garden. of simple things. of simple matters.

im in it.

today,
I invite you to bark at me. I will feel no harm.

this is my peace.
Irv

Marriage

2008-07-22T00:45:00.000-07:00

miss AOVT recently asked me about writing essays for her 0-level.
I guess, rather than trying to explain and waste my saliva, I'd just put an example of an essay that I would write in this blog. Err, I guess I'm probably not the best essay writer around, that would be Ircahn, I suggest you should ask him too... but I hope this helps.

ok, so the ambiguous essay question was 'what is marriage?' (its obvious the teacher who set this question must be a 40-years old virgin, but anyway...).

The first is to understand the context of essay.
Who is your audience? (if you know your teacher is one serious dude, dont try to be funny because he will give you a D just for being funnier than him)
is it an exam or assignment? (dont overelaborate an exam argument)
which subject? (arts and economy essay is definitely different, but then again you already know that, doh!)

Which is my point again, my previous paragraph is completely useless because you already know all that before. An interesting essay is one which the arguments are captivating because they are not so obvious to common people. A good essay is one that makes the reader learn something new. For more guidelines, read http://www3.baylor.edu/~Jesse_Airaudi/nothingwords.html

Ok, so for an English/Economy exam essay context, my answer to what is marriage would be (I haven't done any research so this is unbiased)

Marriage is a formal contractual relationship that legally binds two person into a ‘family’- a unit consisting of husband, wife and children. On the back of this seemingly innocent agreement to marry lies a system that is fundamental in the foundation of our economy and social lives.

Unlike common beliefs, marriage is more than a tradition or religious undertaking. It serves many other purposes, one of which is being a foundation to which an economy can prosper. To understand this, imagine a country where marriage does not exist versus one that does. The latter would have lower number of exploitations and crimes. Why?
Because responsibilities, regulations and consequences contained within a marriage contract represses people from sexual irresponsibilities which will lead to unwanted children whom will grow up to become crime-doers. Hence the effect of marriage towards population control can be likened to how the fear of contracting AIDS discouraged people from irresponsible sexual relationships. Uncontrolled population increase is a huge economic problem as we have witnessed from poor countries like India and Africa nations.

The social implication of marriage is the protection of the weak so that they don’t become burdens to the society. In the family context, the children are the weaks; they are born as dependent creatures. Marriage binds the father – the person responsible for money making – to the family so that its welfare is sustained and assured. Marriage binds the mother – the person responsible for moral education – to the family so that the children are well developed with the right moral values. In return, the parents will rely on their children to fulfil their dependencies at their old age. In absence of marriage, problems will arise from people not wanting to claim responsibility for these weaker groups, especially if they are produced 'unplanned'.

Furthermore, as I have stated in the first paragraph, marriage is a contract.
This is important because as we have seen in business relationships, a clear and transparent contract is one of the most important tools to encourage trading. Who in the right mind would lend other people money if they don’t have a guarantee of getting them back in the future?
Similarly, in a personal relationship context, the individuals wanted a certainty of getting something back from the family in which he/she has contributed. And while writing a contract is seemingly a symbol of anti-trust, it in fact provides the comfort of which trust could be built on the first place.

(conclusion: too lazy to write a conclusion although its actually the most important piece of writing of the essay. It’s actually just a nicely written summary of the essay)

The secret is – Precise and Concise.

For a math context:

marriage --> 1+1 = X (a, b, c)
where X >= 2,
and X is a multifactor dependent variable :
-horniness of the couple (a),
-impotency (or is it infertility?)(b),
-age of couple (c)

for a blog context:

save the religious fundamentals, a wedding is just a marketing propaganda made by wedding planners just like chocolates is to Valentine day.
it’s how they reach into our pockets by making women spend 3 hours in the salon on wedding day (Im not talking about the bride) and buy bouquets of flower all for one forgettable night (except for the photos, which is an excuse to be narcissistic without everyone gunning your ass).

Congratulation girl, you have managed to own me and put me to eternal slavery so that you can buy your chanel wallet.

and we have to endure reduced freedom (reading materials reduced from playboy to maxim and eventually Home Decor when the children arrives)

The dress tells the full story.

The bride wears white, symbolising her purity (‘haha’) and happiness
The men wears doom gloom black (self explanatory).
Why do men wear a normal business suit? Because for us, wedding is like any other business day (except this time the wallet is on the losing end)

Okay, okay, sorry for the blatantly offensive gesture, geez, what do you expect from a single guy?
Marriage scares the hell out of me.

Damn this blog post is long,
Irvin and out

escape

2008-07-21T04:32:00.000-07:00

oh my gosh,

someone please take me to Escape.

please, please, I beg you

anyone, I dont care if you are gay or Osama's brother, just take me to Escape please....

I need some rollercoasting

this rollercoasteria is killing me.

my ecstacy

call Irvin 'HOT'line 9898-8842

why I'm HOT too

2008-07-17T20:06:00.000-07:00

Just recently, I took a photo of myself naked in an erotic position just to prove to you how HOT I am.

But please, PLEASE, dont click the link if you are below 21.

enjoy > Irvin.jpg

Irvin, and the virtue of being cool

2008-07-16T07:19:00.000-07:00

I am cool

I have to admit that.

I think the character that best personafies myself is brad pitt in Oceans Eleven, its almost like seeing myself on the mirror.

Unfortunately for you guys, coolness is just something I can't teach. I mean, I just happen to have it since I was born.

I mean, you can see it just by looking at the pic below. Can you see how poised and elegant that man is? notice the smile, which is not too extravagant, but also not too little - just perfect. Can you see the coolness radiating from his body?

For those who wants to use it as your desktop background or put it up on your room's wall you need a bigger version of the photo which can be found ...

... here >>> Irvinbigphoto

you know, sometimes its tiring being cool, but I just can't help it, the younger generation need someone to look up to, and I'm it!

(next blog post > why I'm HOT too.)

Irvin and Out

bags

2008-07-15T08:33:00.000-07:00

girls are like hand bags

it may look nice from the outside, but it don't matter.
what matters is the content of the bag (for me anyway)

so after a short while of digging

you find a nice looking Prada wallet, but it don't matter.
what matters is the content of the wallet (for me anyway)

so after a long while of digging

you find a nice looking visa credit card, but it don't matter.
what matters is the credit limit of the visa

girls are like hand bags,
they are full of incomprehensible layers of secrets.

unfortunately men (like me) are stupid.
we dig the handbag and found the wallet.
but instead of digging further,
we found a mentos next to it.
and we are happy. and we stop there.

Why am I writing this handbags analogy?
its inspired by the tens of hanging hand bags in my room (my mom's)
And I am wondering why the hell does she need all these bags for?
she ain't got enough wallets to fill all of them bags, ain't enough visas and definitely not enough mentos.
my point (again), women = incomprehensible.

Irvin and out

SWOT

2008-07-13T08:20:00.000-07:00

SWOT analysis

profile: Irvin Hasaka Yuga Gunawan

S (Strength)
- Handsome

W (Weakness)
- self obsessed
- idiotic (sometimes)
- stubborn
- secretive
- chocolate/cakes
- sarcastic
- unfunny
- nervous around girls
- BDSM

O (Opportunity)
- single and open to polygamy

T (Threat)
- people of equal handsomeness (Brad Pitt, David Beckham, Regi)
- Deny

HP: 29,000
MP: -200
weapon: six packs abs and iron bicepts

Special attack:
- the Irvin smile (up, up, down, right, X)
- kill the bastard morning alarm punch (automatic)

Energy giver

2008-07-10T08:05:00.000-07:00

listen to this man
http://youtube.com/watch?v=ywuse55qU2A
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Cpc-t-Uwv1I

straight to the point dude

2008-07-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

what I want to know is why we blabber too much when we talk (how are you?, hows your day been? how do you like your job? what time did you sleep last night?)

why cant we go straight to more meaningful questions like 'what kind of porn do you like?'

that will surely lead to a more interesting conversation.

ranting at 3 am

2008-07-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

right now its 3 am and for some reason I am having a lot of trouble trying to sleep. This is weird because I usually sleep like a pig. Cant seem to finger on a specific cause but it is true that today I have started to feel alive again, to be able to crack jokes and to laugh at one after a couple of weeks of feeling mentally bored.

Was hit by a realisation this morning and wanted to share it for the benefits of other human beings.

I have always been a 'green' antagonist. I question what is all this crap about caring of the environment?, the global warming?, the pollutions and such. Why should we care about creating a sustainable future? and most importantly, even if I am to be converted into a green person, what can an individual's change of habit be of any effect to an environment shared by 200 million?

It is the easy option, to belong to the 'dont care' group and I was in it.

Chances are, you belong to that group too. So now, listen, and listen well.

It struck me that today, jakarta populants are suffering. They suffer because of poluted air. They suffer from regular floods. They suffer from ever increasing temperature. Them include my cousins, uncles, grandmas.

I have just realised the cause of all this is because 30 years ago greenology did not exist. 30 years ago nobody realised the effect of uncontrolled deforestation and river wastages could be so damaging today. As a result, today we suffered. Had the generation before us been less greedy and more sensible, the Jakartans could have lived the clean life of Singapore today.

What I need you to do now is put yourself in the someone's shoe 30 years from now. The city is a massive rubble, its dirty, unlivable, and your fellow city dwellers are dying from toxic air pollution on a daily basis and diseases from flooding everytime the rain falls. At that moment you would look back to this day in 2008 and wished our generation has done something to heal the problems but it didnt happen because me and you do not care about such things.

It is difficult, I know, since any endeavour to save the planet never pays back on the short term. It is more like a charity but more difficult since no politicians and businessmen on their right mind would ever invest in such things. It is up to you and me to come up with more 'an unconvinient truths', spread the message, and do our part in keeping our close environment green. Do this so the next generation does not suffer. Do this so that we wont be labeled the same as our ignorant seniors. Im doing it so that my kids could enjoy bakmie permata 30 years from now.

Irvin and out.

The best gift

2008-07-01T03:45:00.002-07:00

Some time ago my favourite auntie had a birthday and I had to buy her a present.

I wanted to buy her a meaningful gift, but it proved hard because she is the type of person who has everything. I spent more than an hour going around Bugis Junction to no avail. I started to get stressed out.

Finally, I decided to just tell her what happened and just get her some chocolates (normal everyday chocolates). In the birthday card, I wrote:

“dear auntie,
Maybe you don’t realize this, but you have been a massive chunk of inspiration for me.
Love, Irvin.

Ps: I spent more than an hour going around the mall trying to get you the perfect gift but I failed and got stressed out. So it’s back to good ‘ol chocolates. I’ll do better next time”

Soon after she has received that gift I received an SMS from her saying that it was a most beautiful and touching gift. I then realized the power of the letter I wrote. I managed to give her the perfect gift- the gift of time, the pinnacle of care.

(note: this will not work if you do not actually spend the hour trying to find the gift.)

Irvin and out.

Paradoxical infinitum

2008-07-01T03:45:00.001-07:00

Think you are humble, creative, interesting and righteous?

Well, think again.

If you say you are humble, then you would be boasting your humbleness, which is not a very humble thing to do.

If you say you are creative, then you are associating yourself to a set of attribute that defines a creative person. That is not creative because creativity cannot be attributed.

If you say you are interesting, then you are not interesting. No interesting person would be caught saying such a boring statement (they would say ‘am I interesting? I would rather go to the toilet and kill myself than answer that stupid question).

And you think you are righteous?
Grab a bible and read the first few chapters of Romans, it clearly states there that the act of proclaiming oneself righteous is not righteous.

Are you confused? Well you are not, the fact that you have read this far meant that you understood the topic’s underlying principles of confusion.

Irvin and out.

Friendster

2008-07-01T03:37:00.000-07:00

This one is a phenomenon.

I found it hard to believe some of my friends have more than three accounts (that’s 1500 friends) while I still got stuck at around 150 (and 10% of which are strangers with pleasant looking photos).

Okay, I’m not talking about that phenomenon, but the extremely large number of Indonesians using this particular social networking website. C’mon, do a search in friendster for Indonesian users. Last time I did, the search found more than a million users (the exact number was unattainable).

My point is I didn’t even know that there are that many Indonesians actively present on the world wide web, let alone knowing enough English to be able to use the tools to customize their profiles since Friendster is English-based.

I mean, let’s face it, Friendster is not Indonesian friendly, nor is Facebook or Myspace.

An Indo-friendly friendster would have:
- Dual Indonesian/english language
- Indo prokem/slang (kasih dahhh, capee deh, bas bas angine)
- Restaurant guide (because us Indos like to meet at restaurants)
- Global positioning locator (because us Indos are everywhere around the world) and consequently a location-based forums (to connect people living the same area)
Amongst other things

I am just curious why no one has started such Indoster before considering there are so many overseas educated computer whiz-zes out there. One can only look at zorpia.com which is a successful Hong Kong based friendster with a value of some tens of millions of US dollars (at the moment probably hitting the hundreds already). We already know the Indonesian market is big enough (>1 million users in friendster alone) and we know there are filthy rich companies (Djarum, Sampoerna, BCA, Telkomsel, Indofood, etc) waiting to splash their unlimited money on new ways to effectively reach hip and well-pocketed Indonesians. That would be through Indoster ads, so the income stream is clear too.

I believe the value of Indoster is a minimum of $100 million US dollars since its existence will allow companies to reach Indonesian web users as never before.
What are we waiting for?

Irvin and out.

Oh she shits too…

2008-07-01T03:36:00.001-07:00

Ever get stiff nervous because you are meeting a celebrity?

All you have to do is imagine her in the toilet shitting and trying hard to push the last fart out of her system. That will remind you that she is human too.

Oh, unless she is Kate Beckinsale, I am pretty sure she does not do such thing.

American Pei

2008-07-01T03:33:00.000-07:00

Okay, just to make it straight, this is not about a guy doing a defenseless pie.

This is about a friend of mine called Fesia, or as we like to call her – Pei.

Pei is just a gentle creature of God with a well endowed (ehm). Although there are many people in this world I can write of, I decided to start with her because she is simply special. There are so many things to like about Pei as her friends would attest and I respect her so much.

The thing I adore about Pei is that she does not try to be anyone else but herself. In the attention seeking world of today, it is unfathomable that a person can be popular without being loud, yet she won that accolade with her own brand of shyness-almost-a-crybaby-self. She is also smart and hardworking enough to have won a best student scholarship, and I am glad to witness her receiving the award some time ago with almost some tears in her eyes, that kind of honesty of heartfelt feeling showed in her face, no mask of pride or ‘I deserve this shit’ coolness that I almost always display. Incredible.

I would bet my money on her being the most successful amongst us all in my community of churchgoers in the future. If she does not, it will kill my moral principle that success happens to nice guys. By that principle alone she should be a president of something importante. The Man up there must be obliged take care of her otherwise all the rest of us inferior beings are doomed to live a hell of a life – If Pei doesn’t deserve a happy life, who does?

She is so nice a person it is kind of freaky. But is there a darker side of Pei? I believe so.
She must have thought ‘that guy is so cute, I want to pinch his bottom’ sometimes. I mean c’mon, she is human too. I always imagined the good side of Pei like an army of 300 Spartans defending against a huge army of emerging evil lead by Darth Vader. On such occurance, I’ve always thought Pei would make a real scary Sadako-like zombie when the evil won the battle because of her long hair. But all is not lost because the force is with her. Pei, yours is a fight of humanity against the turbulence of evil, please win it for the rest of us mere humans.

Okay, I will end this before I go into more starwars vs pokemon plot the story is developing into. Let me end it with a virtual toast to our friend Pei whom we all love. As long as you be your humble self, I will always be safe guided by the shining light that you emit.

Irvin and out.

2033

2008-07-01T03:32:00.000-07:00

This letter is for my son or daughter to be read 25 years from today:

Hey son/l’il girl,

It should be year 2033 now when you read this letter and you should be aged 12 as I have decided that I will be married at age 35 (if you happen to be older than 12 then I am sorry, you must have been a product of pre-marital misadventure).

This is daddy, yeah, your daddy, same guy, but much younger and less handsome. I am in Medan city Indonesia right now doing a late night typing session.

I want to give you some gifts just cos I feel like giving you some gifts.

I want you to now go bug your dad (me) to buy you a nice puppy today. Kick him in the groin if he says no as a reminder from me. One thing though, I have decided to name him Scooby and this one is no compromise. I want you to take care of this dog and train him to be the best cat pulverizer in the neighbourhood, a dog among dogs, protector of weak mices.

At this time of writing, your mom has not exist in my circle of life, in fact, she couldn’t even read this letter just yet because at the present time she is still in kindergarten school. Yeah I will marry her when she is 17 (because I am a pedophile) and she will conceive you less than a year later. No wonder your mom is such a hottie compared to me huh?

Hey, I also want to impart some advice. Please be a person that your daddy (me) can be proud of, as he has done a lot maintaining you until today.

I will give you some hints. These are some things that will make your daddy proud – eating bugs, playing practical jokes at strangers and successfully renting an R21 movie from the video store using a fake ID. Its not exhaustive, but you get the idea.

Oops, I am getting sleepy. Before I go however, I will impart you a wisdom that will ensure that you will go through teenage years of peace and joy. You see, your dad has a weakness. That weakness is chocolate ice cream and cakes. You should exploit this as much as you can.

Write back to me okay? I don’t mind becoming your pen pal. We shall speak another time when I am less braindead.

Love,
Your dad.

Old man rules the world

2008-07-01T03:31:00.001-07:00

Last week in Jakarta airport, I saw middle-aged guy surfing porn in a public cybercafé.

F*kin cool

mom

2008-06-02T02:46:00.000-07:00

I respect those girls that still go shopping and watch movies with their mom. I really do. Too bad this particular species is quickly heading to extinction.

its given that moms are not the coolest girls to hang around with. Trust me, I KNOW. My mom has just recently given me a lecture about 'SEX', and it would have probably been the most exciting conversation ever had i said a single word back. But dammit, it was just so uncomfortable. (had i said something, my first sentence would have been 'yep mom, I learnt all that from the internet. like, 10 years ago')

but where she lacks in coolness, she makes up in unconditional love she has given me ever since my parents created me from their sperm and egg.

so i am not embarassed at all to say that I am a mommy's boy. I go shopping and watch movies with her all the time. I hug her, kiss her and still sleep with her sometimes. I thank God that I do enjoy tremendously these moments I spend with her. She is the most important person in my life. Why? because I have spent more time with her in earth than any other human being, its a simple equation.

so to those mommy's girls out there, you rock baby!

and to those who are not, go grab your mom and take her to the movies now. I dont think she would be that interested in watching spiderman 8 with you in ten years time when you just realise what I just said are all true.

By then she would be all wrinkly. But one thing will stay the same, her love to you.

dream

2008-05-26T08:05:00.001-07:00

Its incredibly difficult for me to believe anything superstitious and intangible because I am quite the logical person.
Yet, what happened this morning cannot be explained rationally. So please help me understand.

I slept yesterday at 1 am woke at 7. I didn’t dream at all so that time went through like a single second. Feeling still a bit hazy, I decided to sleep a bit more.

What follows was an elaborate dream that went on for a full day. I remember that dream vividly.

----
It is in an old town full of rubbles, and I am running my Chilikong restaurant (my lord, why am I working in my dream?). Things go horribly wrong though, as the landlord forces to relocate to another place. I am shouting mad many times in my dream at my staff and the landlord as we have to relocate and I have not informed my customers about it. The day goes on very long without a customer at sight and I am sweating cold profusely.
After what seems like a long long time, finally a group of people come to patronise us, they are my uncles, aunties, cousins. But things got even worse, I find out my cooks all left without notice, leaving only me and my manager Colin at the restaurant. We cannot make the food orders and ended up fighting words with each other, my uncles, aunties and cousins laughing at our incompetence. I remember saying to Colin that this fracas costs us 682 dollars on the day.
----

This dream was amazing on many levels. As I analyse it, I was confronted with wonders that rational thinking could not explain. Was this a message from God? When all logic failed, this was a reasonable explanation.

Let’s analyse.

Firstly, the dream was set in an unknown place to me, an old city full of rubbles, like an old japan during the war period. Why am I there? I have never been to such place before? How could my brain conjure up such place with astonishing details, there was a kitchen, toilet, etc. Think about this, in real life, a pillar are physical things made by our hands, so today, tomorrow and next year, if we visit that pillar it will look the same. In our dreams, the kitchens, etc are made by our own imagination, so why was it when I went back and forth from the kitchen, it maintained the same mapping, the same size, and the same equipments? Perhaps the dream did not take place in my head after all?

Of course the Chilikong bit is pretty understandable since I spend a lot of time thinking about my restaurant, it is only reasonable that it popped up inside my dream. But why did it feel so natural to me for my restaurant to be located in this old city as if it has been there for a long long time? The interior was completely different too.
I remembered seeing a super-giant crab (like 3 meters wide) in a fish tank inside the restaurant. I too never questioned the impossibility of such animal to exist. At another dream, I was riding on a flying rickshaw and that felt natural too. I am sure this is something you have experienced before too. Isn’t it weird how we can dream things that we have never done, experienced or seen before?

In that dream I was fighting with many people including my staff but in real life, my relationship with my staffs has never been better. Is this a projection of a fear within me? Perhaps unknown to me, I fear deep inside of my staff betraying me and being laughed at by my uncles and cousins.

Yet, imagination or not, I said to colin that he cost me $682 due to the screw up. This was a specific amount, an amount that is within possibility of real-life Chilikong daily revenue. How can I remember that Chilikong makes that much money in a day and yet I don’t remember what Singapore looks like in my dream?

After what seems to be a long long day, I woke up and checked my phone. 7.45 am.

THAT took 45 minutes in the real world. How is this possible?

Times like these humbled me. Our brain is a more majestic tool than we ever imagined, yet we underutilise it each day. Dreams brought us back into childhood magic, where everything is only bounded by our imagination. As we grow up, books and education creates boundaries and shackled our ability to imagine.

But equally probable, is that dreams are simply beyond our understanding, that they exist on a supernatural basis. Perhaps it is an instrument used by God to communicate with us. All we have to do is go with the flow.

Irvin

In desperate need of panadol

2008-04-17T07:55:00.000-07:00

My country is sick.

Money is not the problem. My fellow countrymen flocks to Mt Elizabeth hospital on weekdays and Louis Vuitton on weekends. They are rich.

Those are the money that are supposed to be injected back into our economy through investments. We are driving the economic boom of our neighbours. We are the laughing stock of the world. Our gullibility is the favourite topic of discussion amongst our own people.

Our leaders are sick. Soon enough, you will see them flocking to Singapore casinos like ants to sugarcastles. In my opinion, gambling is the apex of irresponsibility - it shows a person's rotten nature. How are we to grow if our leaders do not inspire by example?

Maybe we are just too rich, since it is alright to know that the congested traffic and flooding problems in the capital city is costing the country tens of billions of dollars per year through lost income. It is also alright to underutilize the magnificent natural resources our country is blessed upon with through monopolization and questionable regulations.

It is also alright for other countries to steal our most precious resources for the future -talented students and workers.

It is hard not to be depressed at the moment.
But a quick fix is just not possible.
the treatment is similar to blood cleansing. Transfusion has to be done little by little, or else the person will die.

In my country's case, it has to start with education.
The next generation should have a higher moral standards.
Their kids should then be taught to be more patriotic.
The bad blood should be cleansed little by little each generation.
No more corruption, nepotism and racism.

I'll give it 50 years to be able to reach this status. The status of which singapore is today.
By then of course, brave little Singapore will be about 100 years ahead.
and the little flight of a bit more that one hour that I will take to Changi will be a case of back to the future over and over and over again.

Irvin and out.

Destiny?

2008-04-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in destiny?

It is convenient to believe that there is some supernatural masterplan that existed even before we were born, and that it sets out all facets of our life, present and future.

I personally think it sucks. I am the type of guy who shut his eyes and closes his ears at the cinemas when the trailers are being shown. Knowing even a little bit about a movie I am going to see kills the enjoyment away. What is the thrill of life if we do not have any kinds of control of it?

I find it amusing that ‘destined’ couples usually lives just a few blocks away from each other. I bet cupid is a lazy mofo because he hasn’t traveled enough to find me a Brazilian girlfriend.

It is also hard to believe that eighty percent of my country’s population shares a destiny of becoming poor because of the 1997 financial crisis.

I dislike the notion of leaving God to sort out our problems; it makes us lazy and weak-hearted.

1 small moment of clarity can change the way our life sets out in front of us. For me, this moment was one insignificant night in Melbourne when I realized that I will not die if I don’t study for an exam and fail (right now, I am thinking that ‘I will not die if today I leave my restaurant and go on an around-the-world tour for half a year’). I realized that university certificate is just a paper that represents other people’s appraisal of yourself – it is unimportant what other people think of you really.
This was a small shift in the way I think about life and it opened so many options for me. From that moment on, I had control of my destiny, and it felt good.

“I believe that man can prevail over destiny”
Andy Lau, playing Chao Yun in the movie Three Kingdoms when asked why he wants to join a losing army

Irvin and out.

the virtue of being poor

2008-04-08T05:47:00.000-07:00

this one has been in my head for a long, long, so Im going to spill it all out.

im tired and bored by people being jelous of others who live a richer life.
its a pity that those who are poor does not even realise the blessings of being poor.

I have never loved money as I was made into this life with plenty of them. My family provides me with everything I needed and wanted. I have been rich from day one and have encountered many people jealous of my well being.

Let me tell you this with pure honesty that comes from the deepest of my heart.
these days, for me, not a single ounce of happiness comes from things purchasable by money anymore. People in the streets look at awe of my beautiful sport cars and think about how great it must feel to drive a slk 350, or 350z. The following sentence is brutal honesty (you may not believe it but this is true from my heart) - I do not feel any special enjoyment driving the sport car or any lux status attached from driving them. I do not crave a ferrari, nor will I enjoy a ride in the limousine. These days, I look forward to riding a bus in which I can relax and simply observe the behaviour of people around me, which I find fascinating.

Life is beautful because it is always balanced.

you see, true enjoyment can only be achieved because of scarcity. When we want something and not able to get it, that is when we feel alive. Our emotions are aroused, and we become driven to achieve it. A grand slam victory is much less sweet for Roger Federer than it is for Marcos Baghdatis who has never won one before. For Marcos, there is a scarcity of winning the grand slam.

this leads to my next point, which is motivation, which is the essential ingredient for anyone to achieve great success in life.
motivation, by the way, also breeds from scarcity.
for me who has so much money already, where is the motivation to get any more money?
and since work these days are very much tied to making money, therefore the question becomes - where is the motivation to work? NONE I tell you, for money related matters, none at all.

I am jealous of others whom money are scarce resources for them, it provides them with burning desire, motivation and ambition to become rich. Because I have been rich since I was born, I will never feel the enjoyment felt by people like Soedono Salim, Bill Gates etc who had a poor economic background. For these people, they have nothing to begin with, so the only way is up. There is no added pressure, its glory if they succeed, or 'understandable' if they fail because they were poor.

of course for me, there is always a pit scenario in which I would go into economic oblivion by losing all the money I have in the future if my businesses are not successful. But to be honest, I would look forward to that day as well. I want to know what being poor feels like, and I want to feel the enjoyment of recieving hard-earned money through hard work. Of course I would not be able to eat in tony romas anymore, but thats okay, I have had my share in this lifetime.

My motivation comes from wanting to produce creative work which entertains other people. When people compliment me on the beautiful look, or great food of my restaurant Chilikong, I feel happy, sincerely very happy. Profit makes me happy, money does not, because profit really means 'I salute you on what you have done, and I want to further patronage your restaurant and tell my friends about it'. For me, thats a great achievement.

My other true enjoyment is having many friends, and share my life experiences with them. After all, all things are dead except humans, animals and plants (my friends belong to one of these categories, please guess which one). When you dont have that many friends, you should take a good close look at yourself, you must have done something wrong because other people are not enjoying your company. Don't fall into the unrewarding trap of worshiping money, ferrari and prada, your life would be filled with sadness.

the following is true in my opinion - Bill Gates gets as much enjoyment staying in a six star hotel as a poor african enjoys eating kentucky fried chicken. Life is balanced.

so the next time you see me, please think 'oh i pity him, he is so rich'. That would be appropriate.

Irvin and out.

the new gold standard

2008-03-27T07:00:00.000-07:00

people close to me know that I am crazy about Hagen Dazs Belgian Chocolate Ice Cream (hereafter HDBC).

it is simply so awesome, it became the standard of which everything else is compared.

For example, watching lord of the rings is 0.75 HDBC, shopping in Zara is 0.42 HDBC and eating Tony Roma's Ribs would be 0.92 HDBC (this is incredibly high by my standard already).

The highest would be having a hot girl feeding me cow brain curry (Sari bundo, no less) at the VIP box of a Muse concert. That would be 1.42 HDBC.

the system kinda makes my whole decision making process much simpler.

For example, there are times in my life in which I considered asking a girl to be my girlfriend.
I asked myself 'at this very moment, do I prefer to brave myself to go and ask her, lose a bit of face and risk rejection for the chance to hold her hands? or would I rather be @ Centerpoint eating HDBC?'

the rest is history.

in the future, the question of marriage would of course be
'do I prefer the marriage?, or win unlimited supply of HDBC?'

oh decisions, decisions....

I would like to kiss you

2008-03-26T10:09:00.000-07:00

I have done pretty daring things in my life.

well, probably nothing to brag about, but its quite daring by my standard.
I have intentionally challenged myself into doing things just to prove that I am brave enough. I treasure these moments when my heart would beat so fast, and I rever them as being important phases of me growing up.

lets see. I have played music on the streets before beging for money, albeit using dark glasses so that I am not too obious to those who know me.

and then there was another time when I saw a hot girl (stranger) in a hospital and decided that I gotta get her phone number (which i did, using gloria jeans coffee).

amongst other things.

But there was one thing that I decide was the holy grail. It is the dare to go to a stranger and say 'I suddenly have the urge to kiss you'.
now, chances are you are going to be rejected, and if you are a good salesman, you would probably be able to negotiate your way out of a slap.
but I do believe out of a 100, 1 person would say yes, and what reward would that be, you dont even have to spend a single dollar on candlelight dinners and needless shopping time.

behind this ridicilous thing I have just explained, lies the secret of success.
which is why I am going to do it.
but not today, because I am feeling a tad shy.

Irvin and out.

The first

2008-03-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

Dear diary,

today I went to

what a fuckin boring crap sentence I just wrote. Sorry dear blog god, let me restart the post.

Dear dearest fuckin deary,

I somehow had a calling to write a blog, whatever a blog is (Why couldnt they call it e-diary for pete's sake)
but regardless. I am doing it (full stop)
and since i am doing it, each sentence must be great to represent how great I am, as it should be, to be worthy of my blog.

I had a bit of help from my good friend Robin Williams.
After watching his stand up comedy @ youtube (dont be a lazy ass, start searching robin williams stand up - its gold), i realised the epitomy of interestingness is in the usage of the swear words in every sentence. I mean cmon, this blog could have just contained a single word - motherfucker- and its funny.

so let me rewind to the original thingy magix that I wanted to write, deepshit.

Today I went to Balestier to buy some asshole lights for my restaurant.
then I almost hit a bastard cos of lightheadedness after eating a seemingly poisonous fish @ fish and co.
Fuck, I thought, then a long pause, then I let it pass. The bastard almost dented my car I thought.

my story just got interesting (ehhm, dickhead).

Irvin and out.